This week in the world’s #1 newsletter on leadership communication:
- What to do When you Blank on Stage
- FREE Webinar on Presentation Secrets
- Book: Building Emotional Intelligence at Scale
What to do When you Blank on Stage
It’s everyone’s biggest speaking fear: Your mind goes blank mid-speech.
During an important talk 9 years ago, I choked – I just couldn’t remember what came next.
It felt like an out-of-body experience.
I blushed, I stammered, and for a few looooong seconds… I was completely stuck.
Public speaking is scary – for me, it’s the size of the crowd and my level of preparedness that determines how I feel about stepping on stage.
What can throw me off is not getting a reaction from the crowd.
“Do they not like it? Are they even listening?”
It can happen to anyone. Even those paid 4 million per year on the speaking circuit – like Scott Galloway, who had panic attacks on stage on 3 different occasions.
How to Prevent it
Apply my BMW method:
1/ Calm your BODY
Try to be well rested, don’t overcaffeinate. Move before you are trapped on stage.
2/ Tame your MIND
Reframe nervousness as excitement. Show up to give, not to get.
3/ Prepare your WORDS
Use structure, not scripts.
Choking is often the result of memorizing a script. Instead, remember stories and key messages.
But what do you do when it still happens?
How to Recover
1/ Pause – and Own the Silence
Don’t rush to fill the gap. Take a breath and smile.
Let the silence reset the room — and your brain.
2/ Turn to the audience
“Who here has experienced this?”
“Raise your hand if this happened to you?”
3/ Skip to your Next Point
Recall your structure and move on. Remember: no one knows what you meant to say.
4/ Use a Fallback Sentence
If you really need a moment, use one of these fallback sentences:
“I’m sorry, I'm not feeling well, please be patient with me.”
“My mind went blank. Please give me a minute.”
The key is to say something so your audience knows what’s going on. People usually couldn't be any nicer about it.
5/ Get Back on Track
If you have slides, read off of them until you recover.
If you don’t, I recommend having a “plan on a page” nearby. That’s the outline of your talk. It can be on the floor, on a desk or lectern nearby, or in your back pocket.
Choking isn’t Failure – it’s Feedback
Go through the BMW method to identify the issue.
Was it my BODY?
Was I jetlegged, tired, did I drink the night before?
Next time, get ready for your speech like an athlete gets ready for a game.
Was it my MIND?
Did my perfectionism, imposter syndrome or need for validation kick in?
Next time, make it all about how you can help the audience, not yourself.
Are my WORDS to blame?
Did I practice my delivery enough?
Did I use a storytelling structure or did I try to remember a script? If the latter, move from Level 2 (Robot) to Level 3 speaking (Raconteur).
To help you become a confident speaker, I’m hosting two more sessions as part of my October Webinar Series.
LEADERSHIP VOICE ACCELERATOR [WEBINAR SERIES]
FREE Webinar on Presentation Secrets
Join me in this live, interactive session, where you'll discover:
- How to avoid the "Great Disconnect" that loses 85% of audiences
- Proven techniques to calm your nerves and reset your nervous system
- The exact structure top presenters use (not scripts or agendas)
Bring your questions and a real presentation you're working on – we'll apply everything live.
📅 Wednesday, 15 October at 18:00 CEST / 12:00pm EDT / 9:00am PDF
BOOK RECOMMENDATION
Building Emotional Intelligence at Scale
The Emotionally Intelligent Team by Vanessa Druskat is one of the most important leadership books of the year and one I believe every modern leader should study closely.
It builds on her long-standing collaboration with Daniel Goleman, the “Godfather of Emotional Intelligence.”
Three Lessons I Took Away:
1/ The individual focus has failed
For years, leadership development has poured billions into developing “better” individuals, or hiring smart people. Druskat shows why this misses the point. Performance is collective, not solo.
2/ Retention is emotional
The number one reason people quit or stay isn’t pay, perks, or policies. It’s how they feel. Ignore this, and no strategy will save you.
3/ The new leadership challenge is building emotional intelligence at scale
Not just in one leader, but in the shared dynamics of every team. Druskat offers a clear playbook to embed emotional intelligence into group culture so collaboration becomes the default, not the exception.
Vanessa will join me on the podcast in the coming weeks to dive deeper into what it really takes to create emotionally intelligent teams that consistently outperform the rest.
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Have an inspired weekend,
Oliver
PS: You can now join my winter 2025 cohort to become a top 1% communicator by Christmas. Take a look here.