Screw small talk – here’s how you get great at conversations


This week in the world’s #1 newsletter on leadership communication:

  • 5 ways to be unforgettable in every conversation
  • One of my all-time favorite podcast episodes
  • The secrets of successful virtual communication

5 Ways to Be Unforgettable in Every Conversation

Have you ever met someone who left a lasting impression after just one conversation? Someone who’s just great at talking?

The good news is that great conversationalists aren’t born, they’re made.

Being unforgettable isn’t about talking the most – it’s about engaging in a way that makes people feel valued and heard.

Here’s how you can become that person:

1. Build Strong Conversation Foundations

A great conversation starts with the right habits:

  • Exercise your social muscles
  • Be an energizer
  • Maintain eye contact
  • Remember names
  • Listen actively

As you can see, the basics have nothing to do with talking. They’re about showing up with the right attitude.

2. Use the T.A.L.K. Method

Keep conversations engaging and meaningful by focusing on:

  • Topics: Choose and manage discussions well
  • Asking: Ask more – and better – questions
  • Levity: Use humor to keep the mood light
  • Kindness: Prioritize your conversation partner’s needs

(h/t Harvard prof Alison Woods Brooks, who was on the podcast in January)

3. Ask the Right Questions

Move beyond small talk by asking questions that matter:

  • “What’s the most exciting thing you’re working on?” instead of “How are you?”
  • Follow up instead of jumping from topic to topic
  • Rephrase their words to show understanding
  • Give them a chance to open up with questions like “What’s your perfect day?”
  • Avoid ‘gotcha’ questions or those that turn the focus back on yourself

4. Make Friends Fast

Want to turn strangers into friends?

  • Ask the right questions
  • Turn shallow questions into deeper ones
  • Invite emotions and vulnerability
  • Instead of “Are you married?”, ask “Tell me about your family.”

5. Connect Like a Pro

Make your interactions smooth and impactful:

  • Start strong with a confident introduction
  • Be clear and concise
  • Share a bit about yourself to build trust
  • Praise and appreciate others
  • End the conversation gracefully with, e.g., “It was great meeting you. I want to say hi to a few more people, but I’m glad we connected.”

Great conversations build connections, opportunities, and influence.

If you want to work with me on your conversational skills, March is Conversation Month in the Speak Like a CEO Academy.

If you join now, we’ll see each other in next week’s Mastermind.

You can also join the Speak Like a CEO Academy directly here.


PODCAST

I do a podcast to help you become a top 1% communicator.

There's no new episode this week, as I'm traveling for my TEDx Talk.

But if you haven't listened to last week's episode with storytelling wizard Will Storr, I highly recommend it.

It's one of my all-time favorites and takes your understanding of stories to a completely new level.

We have fantastic guests coming up in the next few weeks, including Nir Eyal, the author of Indistractable; Harvard prof Mike Norton, who talks to us about rituals; and Natalie Doyle Oldfield, who has written multiple books on trust.

Listen on Spotify and Apple:


BOOK RECOMMENDATION

The Secrets of Successful Virtual Communication

It’s high time someone looked at virtual communications from a scientific point of view.

We all kind of know how to behave on a Zoom call by now, but there's much more to it, as management professor Andrew Brodsky reveals in Ping.

Three key insights:

1. In-person communication isn't always better. New research has demonstrated that there are trade-offs to communicating in person.

In many cases, video calls, phone calls, emails, even text messages are the superior mode of communication. We are well advised to deliberately choose which medium we use to communicate a message.

2. The medium isn't the message, but the medium has a big impact on how the message is received.

3. Keep eye contact in virtual meetings by looking into the camera. (Studies suggest 60-70% of the time is optimal for eye contact).

On that note, have an inspired weekend!

Oliver

PS: Share this newsletter with your friends & colleagues here.

Eo Ipso Communications GmbH

Friedrichstraße 68, 10117 Berlin

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