This week in the world’s #1 newsletter on leadership communication:

• How to Turn Around Your Hardest Conversations​
• On the Show: The Secret Forces That Make People Listen to You
• Book Recommendation: Understanding the True Power of Story

How to Turn Around Your Hardest Conversations

The most important conversations you’ll have are often the hardest.

Performance issues. Missed expectations. Tension in the team. You probably dread or avoid them as much as possible.

I know I did for a long time, until I understood that structure can do the heavy lifting so I can focus on the person in front of me.

Because in those moments, two things matter: resolving the issue and preserving trust.

So don’t improvise these conversations. Plan them.

A simple way to do that is to focus on three things: tension, intention, invitation.

Start with the tension. What’s the issue you need to address?

For example: “I noticed we missed two deadlines this month.”

Then your intention. What’s your goal for the conversation?

“I want to ensure we keep our commitments to clients.”

And then the invitation. Open the conversation.

“What caused the delays?” or “How do you see this?”

You name the tension, declare your intention, and invite their perspective.

No accusations. No assumptions.

Because the moment people feel blamed, they get defensive and the conversation shuts down.

Pro tip: ask “what” or “how” questions, not “why” questions. “Why did this happen?” sounds like an accusation. “What caused the delay?” is neutral.

One more thing: you can use AI to prepare.

You can ask it to stress-test your wording. For example: “Does this sound defensive? Where could this trigger a negative reaction?”

So next time you need to have a difficult conversation, don’t avoid it and don’t improvise.

Be clear on the tension, your intention, and your invitation.

That’s how you resolve issues and preserve trust.

ON THE SHOW

The Secret Forces That Make People Listen to You

▶️ Episode 331 on YouTube, Spotify or Apple.

Up to 98% of what our brains are doing is subconscious. In this episode, I'm revealing the psychology behind powerful communication – including the seven forces that help you win over any audience.

I'm sharing this as a guest on the Real Relationships, Real Value podcast with Mo Bunnell, one of the world's leading experts on business development.

Together we get into how to build trust instantly, get seen in a crowded market, frame conversations to get the right kind of attention – and communicate so clearly that people act on your ideas.

​​​

Understanding the True Power of Story

John Yorke is back with Trip to the Moon. Fans of his OG storytelling book Into the Woods had to wait for more than a decade for this follow-up.

Back in 2014, John opened my eyes to the ways and extent stories shape our reality before Yuval Noah Harari popularized this very idea a year later in Sapiens.

(Check out my fanboy interview with John on Speak Like a CEO.)

Thanks to John’s decades-long career in TV, Trip to the Moon focuses on drama and fiction, but also politics, conspiracy theories, religion, and non-Western narrative. He shows how each of these fields create life-changing tales, and what we can learn from them.

If you're looking for a quick introduction to storytelling in business, this may not be your first pick, but I thoroughly enjoyed the nuance, scope, and intellectual rigour of Trip to the Moon.

Have an inspired weekend,

Oliver

PS: Whenever you are ready, there are 3 ways I can help you: private coaching; my 10-person cohorts; transforming your organization’s communication.

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