This week in the world’s #1 newsletter on leadership communication:
- How to Say No (without ticking people off)
- Life-Changing Lessons from Obama’s Speechwriter
- Say It Well
-
Are You Communicating as Effectively as You Think?
How to Say No (Without Ticking People Off)
Something exciting happened last weekend.
On Saturday afternoon I reached out to one of Barack Obama’s longest-serving speechwriters, Terry Szuplat. Barely 20 hours later, I find myself interviewing the man who penned plenty of speeches that made history.
I am over the moon that he said yes! More on that below.
But first, let’s talk about saying no.
Most of us are overwhelmed, overworked and suffer from overflowing inboxes.
Sounds familiar?
Being too busy tends to be the result of saying ‘yes’ when we should say ‘no’.
Only by saying no to almost everything can we create the space to turn our own dreams and projects into reality. So let’s stop working on OPPs – other people’s priorities.
Having said yes too often in the past, I am now actively removing things from my work and life to focus on my mission: helping you become a top 1% communicator so that you can create positive change in the world.
Here are my 3 ‘no filters’ (feel free to copy):
Filter 1 - Don’t answer
If you received 1 million messages, would you answer all of them? Of course not. The same applies to 100 messages. Or 10.
Don’t get me wrong, I tend to reply to everyone I know (and anyone who replies to this email, because our community is important to me). But I ignore cold outreaches, podcast pitches I didn’t ask for, and much else.
Everyone can send you an email. It does not mean you have to answer.
Filter 2 - Decline politely
I have a couple of standard replies to decline requests.
Inspired by Seth Godin’s “I wish I could, but I can’t” approach, I thank the sender, explain that I won’t be able to do it, and why.
As a reason, it is enough to say that you are fully focused on your own priorities (that also works in large companies), or that you don’t do, say, unpaid speaking gigs.
The key is to make it about your own rules or principles, not about the request itself. People tend to be very understanding of personal rules, as we all have them.
Finally, I wish them much success with the project.
Filter 3 - Force a decision
Saying no can be tough because we want to please people and be on good terms with them.
Whenever I am sitting on the fence, I use two questions to remove the neutral position. Because ‘maybe’ is the worst answer. If I leave the door open, I effectively beg for follow-up messages.
So I ask myself:
Would I want to do it if it were tomorrow?
If the answer is no, then why commit to doing it next February?
If I am still tempted to do something I shouldn’t, I ask myself: ‘Do I rather disappoint myself or another person?’ This framing acknowledges that the other person may be disappointed, and that’s ok, because life’s full of trade-offs.
Our time is our life. Only we should decide how we use it.
PODCAST
Life-Changing Lessons from Obama’s Speechwriter
I do a podcast to help you become a top 1% communicator. Please subscribe on Apple or Spotify.
This week, one of Barack Obama’s longest-serving speechwriters reveals the public speaking lessons that will help you become a more confident and compelling communicator.
For 8 years, Terry Szuplat worked on hundreds of speeches for President Obama. From 2013 to 2017 he was the deputy director of the White House Speechwriting Office.
We talk about the one time President Obama froze up and lost his train of thought, Terry’s first meeting with the President, and what it was like working closely with one of the most admired speakers of our time.
We also get tactical. Terry shares lots of actionable advice on speaking and presenting that you can apply immediately.
I hope you enjoy this episode with the man who wrote speeches that made history: Terry Szuplat.
Listen on Spotify and Apple:
BOOK
Say It Well
The reason for my conversation with Terry Szuplat is the publication of his brand new book ‘Say It Well’. He shares the life-changing lessons he learned from Barack Obama and how he applied these techniques to become a better speaker himself.
‘Say It Well’ is not a political memoir but an actionable guide that helps you find your own voice, become a better presenter, and stand out in a sea of corporate blandness.
Terry reminds us to talk like a human, apply the BBQ test (what you say needs to make sense to everyone at a BBQ, from your niece to your neighbor) and introduces the idea of value-based public speaking.
Plus: Never-before-heard insights from President Obama, including mistakes he made as a speaker early in his career, how he improved and became the orator who burst onto the world stage, and why he communicated the way he did as both a candidate and as president.
And that’s not all – I have one more recommendation for you…
OLIVER'S RECOMMENDATION CORNER
Are You Communicating as Effectively as You Think?
Last week I recorded a podcast conversation with Doug C. Brown on CEO Sales Strategies, where we discussed why communication is the most crucial skill for any CEO.
During our chat, I shared some of my hard-earned wisdom:
- how to navigate crises without breaking a sweat
- the game-changing difference between constructive and destructive feedback
- and my secret weapon - the BMW (Body, Mind, and Words) framework.
These insights can help you elevate your leadership presence and drive your business forward. Effective communication isn't just about what you say—it's about how you say it and how well it aligns with your overall strategy.
Check out the episode here!
On that note...
Have an inspired weekend!
Best,
Oliver
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