How to Find YOUR Speaking Style

"He sounds like a completely different person on stage," a client told me after watching a colleague present. She didn't mean it as a compliment.

Every speaker has a style. The question is whether you choose yours or whether it chooses you.

In her colleague's case, his style was definitely choosing him. He speaks in a generic "presenting voice" that's formal, stiff and boring – even though he is a fun, entertaining guy.

Finding your speaking style has three advantages:

You show up as the best version of yourself.
You avoid the dreaded, generic presentation style.
You stop blending in, get more attention and become memorable.

Since everything in businesses happens downstream from attention, leaning into your style is a winning strategy.

So how do you find your speaking style? With adjectives and your style statement.

Step 1: Find your adjectives

Select three adjectives that describe how you communicate at your best:

Relatable – your audience feels like you're talking to them, not at them
Bold – you stake out a position and defend it
Intellectual – you like frameworks, first principles, well-placed ideas
Mission-driven – every point connects back to your larger purpose
Conversational – you are warm and unguarded, whatever the room size
Provocative – you ask the questions nobody else will
Analytical – logic is your friend
Irreverent – you don't take yourself or the format too seriously
Calm – you slow the room down and give people space to think
Urgent – you make people feel this matters right now
Curious – you explore rather than declare
Empathetic – people feel seen the moment you open your mouth
Inspirational – you make people believe in a brighter future
Commanding – people listen before they know why

Your words might not be on this list. That's fine – choose whatever adjectives describe your speaking style.

Step 2: Write your style statement

Once you have your three adjectives, distill them into a single sentence that answers the question: "How do I want to show up when I speak?"

It can be aspirational rather than descriptive. Let your ideal future improve your present.

Some examples:

The calm voice in a noisy room
The bold thinker who makes you feel brave enough to act
The curious mind that makes the room curious too
The crazy inspiring guy you quote on the way home
The sharp voice who turns complexity into clarity

The test: could this describe a hundred other speakers? Go sharper. When someone who knows you well says "yes, that's exactly you" – then you're there.

Mine, if you're curious, is: I am the messenger who brings high-stakes clarity delivered with humanity.

So here's my question: do you have a style statement? If not, try writing one today and reply with what you come up with – I'd love to read it.

ON THE SHOW

The Secret to Selling Without Trying So Hard

▶️ Episode 324 with Mo Bunnell on YouTube, Spotify or Apple.

“The ceiling of your career is winning the work” says Mo Bunnell, one of the world’s leading experts on business development and author of Give to Grow.

At a certain point, it’s no longer about how good you are at what you do. It’s about whether you can consistently win bigger opportunities.

Mo and I break down how leaders win bigger opportunities with less effort by changing how they communicate long before any decision is made.

We break down the shift from doing the work to winning the work, why pushing harder often backfires, why you want to come to meetings with partially baked ideas, how to increase prices (and by how much), how to get referrals and avoid being ignored.

As Mo likes to say: “we hate to be sold to, but we love to buy.”

BOOK RECOMMENDATION

Become a Timeless Presenter

Andrea Pacini shared an early copy with me ahead of the book launch next week (he’s my podcast guest next week).

It contains over 200 timeless tips for speaking and presenting – made sticky with memorable stories.

Here are some of my favorite gems:

Being clear is kind.
To make your message clearer, subtract, don't add.
Facts don't move people; human connection does.
It's not how many people you reach; it's of the people you reached, how many did you move?
Kill the agenda slide. Start instead with a promise.
Don't think look at me. Think look at that.
The worst mistake you can make is telling the audience something they already know.
The trailer test: When you present, how can you deliver an hour's worth of value in the first minute?