This week in the world’s #1 newsletter on leadership communication:

• Why You Need to Break the Frame​
• On the Show: What to (Never) Say in Your First Week as a Leader​
• Book Recommendation: How to Be Good at Life ​

Why You Need to Break the Frame

Hi Reader,

Good boys and girls don't make it to the top.

I know that sounds harsh, so let me explain.

Every room has a frame: unwritten rules about who speaks first, what you wear and what you're allowed to say.

Most of us follow these rules without noticing, because it feels safe. But it's also the fastest way to become invisible.

Many of the leaders I've coached who rose fastest knew when to step outside the frame. They don’t do it to provoke, but because playing along would have cost them.

Here are eight ways you can do it:

1/ Restart a bad start

A meeting is off to a bad start, and the energy is off. Most people push through and hope it gets better.

Instead, say "Let me try that again," leave the room and come back in. It feels awkward for about five seconds, then people smile and relax, and you get your fresh start.

2/ Dress like yourself

If you watch my videos, you know I sometimes wear colorful shirts with animal patterns.

Before I say a word, the shirt tells people this won't be the usual corporate talk. Yours might be a color or a detail people remember you by.

3/ Start with a hook

Most presentations start with 30 seconds of "Hello, thank you for joining, I'm delighted to be here. Blablabla." By then, your audience has decided your talk is safe to ignore.

Instead, open with a strong hook that grabs people’s attention. It sounds like a small thing, but it’s very uncommon in the corporate world.

4/ Point to the elephant

You can feel it when a meeting goes sideways: crossed arms, short answers and everyone pretending things are fine. Try this: "I'm feeling some tension in this meeting. Does anyone feel the same?"

More often than not, everyone exhales and you get a chance to have a real conversation instead of the polite one.

5/ Reject the premise

When someone asks "Why did your team miss the target?", you don't have to accept that framing. You could say: "Let me step back, because the target was based on assumptions that changed in March."

6/ Let the silence work for you

Silence is uncomfortable. Use that to your advantage. When you are asked a tough question, pause for three or four seconds instead of rushing to answer.

It shows you're thinking, not reacting, and your next sentence will carry more weight.

7/ Give time back

"We've scheduled an hour, but I think we can decide this in 20 minutes. Shall we try?" Nobody expects that, and everyone remembers who gave them 40 minutes back.

8/ Put something unexpected in your frame

In virtual meetings, every screen looks the same: artificial background, bookshelf, neutral wall.

Add one thing that doesn't fit the template of your industry or role, like a guitar, a quirky object or a piece of art you love. (For me, it’s my books.) It often triggers a question that turns a stiff call into a real conversation.

One word of caution: breaking the frame only works if there's substance behind it. If you grab attention and deliver nothing, you just look odd. And if you do it all the time, it loses its power.

Do you have your own way to break the frame? Or is there a frame are you still following that no longer serves you? Hit reply and let me know, I read every answer.

ON THE SHOW

What to Say (and Never Say) in Your First Week as a Leader

▶️ Episode 347 on YouTube, Spotify or Apple.

New role. New team. Everyone watching your first move. And the pressure is on to announce a bold plan.

But that may be the biggest trap of all.

As Navid Nazemian says, the single biggest regret that CEOs have is that they went in early with big announcements.

It is one of the reasons why four out of ten executives don’t make it in a new role.

Navid is the person CEOs call when they are stepping into a new leadership role. He literally wrote the book on it: Mastering Executive Transitions.

This week on Speak Like a CEO, Navid shares what to say in your first week, what you should avoid, and how one throwaway answer in a town hall turned into a 400-page report nobody asked for.

Every leader starts a new role eventually, and this episode will help you succeed where four out of six fail.

​​​

BOOK RECOMMENDATION

How to Be Good at Life

I've read my fair share of personal growth books. But this one is special. The clarity, humanity and originality make this one of my books of the year.

Many agree: How to Be Good at Life became an instant #1 New York Times and Sunday Times bestseller.

I've known Ben Meer for years and have always been impressed by his dedication to helping others lead a better life.

Here are three communication tips from the book you may appreciate:

1/ When you give feedback, be hard on the problem and soft on the person.

2/ To unlock someone's potential, say this before you give tough feedback: "I'm giving you these comments because I have very high expectations, and I'm confident you can reach them."

3/ To manage up, share a 4-bullet update every Friday.

• Here's what you asked me to do.
• Here's what I did.
• Here are the risks and blockers.
• If given more time, I'd do this.

Which brings me to the end of my Friday update.

Have an inspired weekend,

Oliver

Eo Ipso Communications GmbH

c/o Mindspace

Uhlandstraße 32, 10719 Berlin

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