The Authenticity Trap (And How You Avoid It)

Do leaders get authenticity wrong? More than you think.

Too many leaders confuse being authentic with being unfiltered. But authenticity is not an excuse for saying whatever you want. Over the past few months, several high-profile executives reminded us of this the hard way.

Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, tweeted about ChatGPT-powered erotica only to admit later that it was “one of [his] dumbest mistakes of the year.”

Mike Gannon, Chief Revenue Officer at Snowflake, casually revealed financial guidance in an influencer interview – a big no-no for a listed company that forced them to issue a filing with the US SEC.

Alex Karp, CEO of Palantir, went off-script during an earnings call to offer commentary on ICE and the fentanyl crisis.

All of them were likely trying to be more “authentic.” And all of them caused reputational or regulatory damage in the process.

To be clear: We’re no longer in the era of over-scripted leaders and media-trained-to-death executives – and that’s a good thing. But we may have overcorrected.

The job of a modern leader isn’t to be raw and unfiltered. It’s to be real and intentional. To bring clarity, not distraction.

So what is authenticity? In my definition, authenticity means your thoughts, words, and actions are aligned. It doesn't mean you get to be grumpy on a Tuesday afternoon because you had a bad day.

Authenticity done right is a leader who sounds like a human being, not a corporate robot. But their leadership communication is still grounded in purpose, audience awareness, and message discipline.

👉 Keen to see some examples of authentic vs rehearsed vs unfiltered? I created a cheat sheet for you here.

ON THE SHOW

I do a weekly show to help you become a top 1% communicator. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple, or Youtube.

Most leaders I meet feel stuck in the middle – they are trying not to be a controlling micromanager, but also don’t want to be that nice boss people don’t respect.

As a result, team communication feels messy and exhausting.

That’s why I invited Ashley Herd to come on the show. Ashley is the author of the brand new book Manager Method and a former HR leader at McKinsey and Yum! Brands.

She describes three leadership styles:

Tight jeans – overly rigid, controlling, and suffocating
Oversized sweatpants – so relaxed that clarity and accountability disappear
Cozy joggers – the sweet spot: connection AND accountability.

Ashley shares her simple yet effective 3-step framework that helps you lead in a way that earns respect without losing connection:

Pause: Take a moment to reflect before reacting. This brief pause allows you to gather your thoughts and avoid making impulsive decisions.

Consider: Evaluate the situation from all angles. Think about how you’d want to be treated, and consider the specific circumstances of the person or situation.

Act: Communicate clearly and take deliberate action. Follow through and ensure the issue is resolved.

If you’ve ever wondered how to communicate so that people like and respect you – this one’s for you.

Watch and listen to the full episode here:

BOOK RECOMMENDATION

How to Be a Cult Leader

I flew to Spain with my wife last week for a few days to escape icy Berlin.

Always on the lookout for interesting reads, I stumbled over Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism in the airport bookstore. A book about linguistics and cult leaders for my holidays? Count me in!

Cultish blew me away. Amanda Montell shows that cult leaders, cult brands and fitness cults like SoulCycle or Bikram Yoga rely on one thing: words.

Because “language is a leader's charisma. Without language, there are no cults.” Cultishness falls on a spectrum though. CrossFit has its issues, but it's not going to cost you your life or life’s savings.

Here are three take-aways that are also relevant for you:

1/ Human beings are cultish by nature, so any organization that offers meaning, purpose, a sense of community, and ritual will appeal to many of us. That includes some companies that put the "cult" in company culture.

2/ There is no such thing as brainwashing. Instead, cults use words for conversion, conditioning and coercion, in that order. During the conversion phase, targets are love-bombed with attention. During conditioning, they are pulled into the cult's us-versus-them dichotomy. Once inside, coercion is applied to ensure people toe the line.

3/ Thought-terminating clichés can be found in every cultish leader's repertoire. Some business leaders also use them, for instance "Trust the process," "Everything happens for a reason," or "Don't overbrain this."

Sentences like this are designed to discourage critical thinking. But as Montell points out, if it's legitimate, it holds up to scrutiny.

On that note, have an inspired weekend,

Oliver