This week in the world’s #1 newsletter on leadership communication:

• The Surprising Power of Oversharing​
• On the Show: 20 World-Class Communicators Share Their #1 Advice​
• Book Recommendation: Why Storytelling is the Superpower of the AI Age

The Surprising Power of Oversharing

Do you tend to overshare or undershare?

Turns out most of us – me included – actually undershare and live firmly in camp TLI (too little information), not in TMI town (too much information).

“What feels like overcommunicating is often just communicating. What feels like oversharing is often just sharing,” writes Leslie John in “Revealing – The Surprising Power of Oversharing”.

Leslie is a behavioural scientist and leading privacy expert at Harvard Business School. She studies disclosure decisions, most of which are actually disclosure dilemmas.

That’s because how much you should share is often not straightforward.

But if you hit the sweet spot between TMI and TLI, you create trust, friendship, and strong leadership.

My key takeaways from Leslie’s work:

1/ Vulnerability is key

Sharing something that invites judgment actually increases trust and builds friendships.

2/ Go for a sequence of mutual disclosures

We are more concerned about the risks of revealing than the risks of concealing. That's one of the reasons why we tend to share too little, not too much.

You overcome this dilemma with a sequence of mutual disclosures – you take turns opening up.

3/ Your personality influences how much you share

Surprisingly it's not extraversion but agreeableness that is the best predictor of disclosure optimism (i.e., a positive expectation of self-disclosure).

That's because people who are agreeable have more trust in others, while disagreeable people trust less and tend to be more cynical.

4/ Practice disclosure flexibility

This is crucial, especially at work. It means that we become a good judge of audience and context – and decide how much we share depending on the situation.

5/ Don’t expect others to read your mind

We tend to have a mind-reading expectation, i.e. we expect close friends, family and colleagues to know what we are thinking and feeling – often without realizing it.

In reality, even our loved ones can't read our minds (which explains why my wife often asks me where my head is:)

6/ Turning emotions into words is a skill

Let’s move beyond basic descriptives like mad, bad and sad. Do you feel scared, stressed, or insecure? Do you experience inspiration, excitement, or motivation?

7/ Should you bring your whole self to work?

The "bring your whole self to work" movement is a balancing act. When done thoughtfully, it can help us build rapport and stand out in a good way.

But be mindful that not everyone appreciates hearing about someone’s personal life or mental health struggles, especially in a job interview or a multi-generation workplace.

8/ Showing emotions can be a flex

Confidence flexing is real. Entrepreneurs who acknowledge shortcomings are perceived as more confident. Some 44% of executives even believe that crying at work on occasion was perfectly acceptable.

The good news is: sharing more is a communication skill we can learn.

And it shouldn’t be too difficult. According to one study, we like talking about ourselves so much that people give up money just to share more about themselves.

ON THE SHOW

20 World-Class Communicators Share Their #1 Advice

▶️ Episode 329 on YouTube, Spotify or Apple.

"What's your best piece of communication advice?" That's the question I've asked more than 320 world-class communicators at the end of each interview.

This week on Speak Like a CEO, you'll hear from 20 extraordinary guests. Together, they've sold hundreds of millions of books, lead global companies, and speak on the world's biggest stages.

And when I asked them for the one lesson they wished everyone understood about communication, their answers were fascinating.

These are their biggest lessons – in a highly condensed form. Don’t miss it!

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BOOK RECOMMENDATION

Why Storytelling is the Superpower of the AI Age

“While AI thrives at technical tasks, it doesn't help with the hardest, most human part of the work – the soft skills that allow you to actually get things done by building relationships and cajoling stakeholders to rally around your plan.”

According to Joe Lazer, our most human ability, the thing AI won't be able to replicate even if it gets 100x better, is storytelling.

“Those who invest in storytelling will outperform the competition in the new age of work: communication, leadership, empathy, critical thinking, collaboration. Storytelling is humanity's greatest cognitive superpower.”

The good news is you're already a storyteller. We all are – since about the age of two.

This is what stuck with me:

1/ Not all stories work. Only stories high in tension and emotional resonance change people's minds.

2/ Great stories trigger the production of oxytocin, which makes people trust you or your brand more.

3/ There's a strong link between stories and memory. If you want people to buy something from you, they need to remember you.

4/ AI-generated content is called AI slop, while AI-generated coding has a much more positive nickname, vibe coding.

That's because AI is logical, but humans are biological.

5/ Our most important economic inputs used to be land, labor, and capital. Now the foundation of any project or product is attention and narrative.

Which puts you – as someone interested in communication – at a decisive advantage.

On that note, have an inspired weekend,

Oliver

PS: Whenever you are ready, there are 3 ways I can help you: private coaching; my 10-person cohorts; transforming your organization’s communication.

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